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Dear Bev,
It’s that time of the year when my partners and I all start arguing about what we’re going to do for clients around the holidays. They call me “Scrooge” because I am of the mindset clients pay us a market-based fee and we deliver an above average client experience in return. There is an inherent give and take built in. We don’t need to do more.
My partner “Steve” is a giver. He thinks we should be sending expensive European chocolates and liquor as a thank you. My other partner “Mary” is a party-gal and wants us to throw an extravagant event to thank everyone. Don’t worry that I am writing to you in early December, these ideas go well into the next year. Last year (or really this year, in January of 2025), Mary won. We spent $15k on an event held in mid-January to kick off the new year.
Steve has won this tug-of-war in the past, and we spent almost $30k on gifts sent to each client’s house. I think I should be allowed to win this year as we have had an expensive year with a number of technology investments. Although our firm is doing well, it hasn’t been the most profitable year.
How do I get my partners to see these investments in clients are unnecessary as long as we continue to deliver outstanding work on behalf of our clients?
K.C.
Dear K.C.,
You are asking me to wade into a disagreement that sounds like it spans many years now. I am always concerned when partners have disagreements and there is talk about “winning,” which infers those who do not get their way are losers. This is a set-up from the beginning that chips away at collaboration, because one person is trying to show the others that they are right.
What if you took a different approach with Steve and Mary this year? What if you could pull them into your conference room, set up a whiteboard and look at this in a collaborative manner?
My suggestion is this: Tell them you do agree you should be doing something to acknowledge clients and show them you are thankful — after all, your firm set a precedent for doing lavish things over the last couple of years. However, this year, before you discuss the options, show Steve and Mary the black and white of your financials and how the investments you made in technology have eaten away at your profits for 2025.
I am going to assume these investments somehow helped clients by helping you become more efficient and effective. Find ways to communicate what you’ve done for clients this year and how the investments you have made in improving the firm have been beneficial to them. Perhaps a Holiday Letter outlining specifics could be helpful.
Then, collaborate on what you could do for clients that isn’t as expensive (or in some cases costs nothing) but still shows care and thanks. Things like:
- Donating to a few charities in honor of your clients;
- Setting up a series of educational webinars/events over the coming year on topics clients care about; or
- Offering a “free” review for a family member or friend to start the new year.
You will likely generate other ideas during your whiteboarding session, but these can give you a head start. I’m thinking this is a good opportunity to change the dynamic between the three of you. No one wins, and no one loses. Rather, you put your heads together to solve for something that matters to all of you. Moreover, you do it in a way that supports clients, while also supporting the business you’ve built together.
Dear Bev,
We recently held some internal focus groups within our RIA. There had been rumors that people were unhappy but didn’t feel safe or comfortable enough to bring things forward. We have an external HR consultant who supports us and he felt running these groups could be helpful to allow people to raise their issues.
I just read his final report and I really don’t know where to go from here. The comments were overall pretty positive, but there is one partner (our youngest partner, who was made an equity owner just 14 months ago) about whom the comments were disastrous. Definition of disastrous: Making comments about women, about minorities, about people living alternative lifestyles and so on. One group shared they have heard him do this in front of clients!
He was never “my guy.” He is the nephew of our most senior partner and has been with the firm for three years. I don’t particularly like him or dislike him. I haven’t had that much interaction with him.
Because the HR consultant is an outsider and not one of us, he isn’t comfortable giving the feedback. Candidly, I think he is worried about his relationship with us. My senior partner can be a bully when he wants to.
Do I bury this? Bring it forward to the younger partner to give him a chance to respond? Share the insights with his uncle, my senior partner, and see where it goes? I feel like I am holding a smoking gun with nowhere to hide it.
Anonymous
Dear Advisor,
Whenever someone asks me not to use their initials or any identifiers, I know the topic is an uber-sensitive one. This one is certainly up there with one of the more sensitive I have received over the years!
I don’t think you can bury this report. Your team was open and honest and shared their insights. You can’t pretend like the conversations never happened. You don’t have to share the final write-up with them, but you can’t make this just go away.
I also don’t think sharing the insights with only the person being identified here is going to be helpful. He is not likely to take kindly to the feedback, and you would not want him to be focused on trying to find those who “wronged” him with their comments. This could make for a very toxic environment (more so than you have now).
Your note doesn’t say if there are other partners who could get involved with this situation. Having an outsider for HR is also hampering you in this decision.
I believe you have no choice but to have a closed-door meeting with your senior partner and share the feedback. You need his guidance on how to approach this and what he wants you to do. You say he can “be a bully,” so you need to prepare yourself for backlash and anger as he digests what you are sharing.
Personally I am a big fan of soliciting input from team members via interviews, focus groups and surveys. I have also seen, on many occasions, that the feedback isn’t what management wanted to hear. The good leaders take it in and consider what to do about it. The not-so-great leaders reject it and want to find who is responsible for telling the truth!
Beverly Flaxington co-founded The Collaborative, a consulting firm devoted to business building for the financial services industry, in 1995. The firm also founded and manages the Advisors Sales Academy. The firm has won the Wealthbriefing WealthTech award for Best Training Solution for 2022, 2023, 2024 and 2025. Beverly is currently an adjunct professor at Suffolk University teaching undergraduate and graduate students Entrepreneurship and Leading Teams. She is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA).
She has spent over 25 years in the investment industry and has been featured in Selling Power Magazine and quoted in hundreds of media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, MSNBC.com, Investment News and Solutions Magazine for the FPA. She speaks frequently at investment industry conferences and is a speaker for the CFA Institute.
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Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
