I’m not someone who believes you should let offensive things go by. Look for your opportunity and be ready!

It’s always an honor for me to both attend and speak at the Barron’s conference. In thinking about this column, I am recalling many of the amazing presentations, great insights and fabulous speakers I heard.

Many people who are not interested in seeing anything about their own behavior that is causing a problem. They either have over-developed egos, or a lack of confidence so deep it is threatening to find an area of opportunity for change.

In this column, I’ll share some marketing secrets I’ve seen work well, whether you are trying to do lead gen or whether you are in a “finals” situation competing against other advisors, or whether you are talking with a prospect in your office.

Life’s challenges often force us to become more present, to experience each moment fully. In doing so, I discovered the importance of celebrating small victories – not just the major milestones, but the everyday wins that mark progress.

I’ve spent much of my career coaching and providing learning opportunities for those professionals who want to improve. This week I had an experience that moved me to write a column about the difficulty in opening one’s self up to being willing to be coached, and of making behavioral change.

When clients are scared, you want to be there for them and respond to their concerns. However, if you don’t pause from time-to-time to make sure you are responding in the most effective ways, you will find yourself continually frustrated and even possibly resentful of the interruption.

I recommend you hold what I call an “obstacles session.” This is when you ideally have a third party in to ask your team what success would look like to them, and what obstacles are getting in the way of achieving this success.

Unfortunately, I hear stories about people unwilling to seek HR help for many reasons. It is a tragedy when this happens because good HR support can be the key to helping with so many things.

I have – painfully – learned one thing, in particular. Even if you can see what’s happening and could find the words to share your insights, if you have a leader that only wants to listen to an echo chamber, you aren’t going to get heard, no matter what you do.

It’s not easy when someone doesn’t want to look at their own culpability in relationships. But you can only control what’s controllable, and we don’t control others, much as we endeavor to do so.

I know that dealing with someone who is irrational is next to impossible. Trying to show them how much their approach hurts others only fuels the fire and gives them more righteousness.

There are times in life when factors conspire to make it very difficult to be as productive as we need to – and want to – be. But even in the midst of these times it’s important to feel like you have some control and do the things that will keep you on track. Control the controllable.

I’m devoting this column to reminders around change management and what to think about for the human element in the midst of change.

What happens when you simply don’t like a colleague but you need to work side-by-side with them every single day?

When you aren’t the one in charge, you will always be vulnerable to whatever decisions the leaders might make.

As you look toward the new year, I’ll share an idea you can give yourself and your team as a gift in 2025.

A wise mentor of mine once told me, “Businesses would be so easy to run if only there weren’t human beings mucking things up all of the time!”

I don’t have the ability to say what is the best for any given situation because every situation is different. I can, however, answer your question about why people are pushing back on the full-time return to the office.

For a twist on this week’s column, I will share some stress management techniques I often teach to help mitigate the overwhelming feeling of “I can’t do this all!” and to find ways to enjoy the December rush.

In this article, Beverly Flaxington gives advice on how to navigate organizing events for staff and clients.

Where I teach, there is a program designed for people who get into management roles but have never been given the skills to manage effectively. It’s common across industries.

You might not be able to do all of what’s needed to bring together strong teams and help your employees succeed, but even if you focus on just doing one thing differently and better, it can help improve outcomes.

These steps should help you share what’s important to the team with your senior advisor so he recognizes your point of view, and help you uncover what’s meaningful to someone considering joining you, as well as allow your senior advisor to be open about his objectives.

Members of successful teams generally get along with each other. Bev Flaxington offers some insights on how to cement those relationships.

Questioning leads to closing. A number of the advisors I work with are pretty good at engaging, asking questions and caring about the answers. However, they are really uncomfortable with the close. I promised you I wouldn’t give you coaching on “closing,” so I won’t.

I often hear my clients talk about the struggles with the next generation and how hard it is to work with them. Here are some of my best tips for how to lead the next generation (or potentially any generation that needs a little boost).

There are only a couple of workable options. You can’t tell someone like this she isn’t listening or that you feel shut down when you speak with her. That will only lead to defensiveness.

It is more common that teammates really enjoy the people they work with and have one another’s backs, but they don’t particularly want to give up personal time to spend more with workmates.

Storytelling allows you to describe what you do, and whom you do it for, in a way that is transferrable and understandable.

Care about being a financial “doctor” and don't assume all is well because you have addressed the surface issue. Here are some ways to avoid delivering a poor bedside manner when clients need help.

It doesn’t take away from one’s success to share things that are troubling in order to deal with them differently and perhaps find another way. While you want to be careful, of course, about to whom you share your secrets or your inner feelings, you don’t want to bottle them up indefinitely.

Try to understand specifically where you are going off track. Many times these are behavioral disconnects. If you have a boss who is highly attuned to rules and quality and you are someone who doesn’t notice details as much, you might be failing in their eyes. First, start with seeking to understand.

This week I had the chance to run a half-day workshop helping seasoned, successful advisors learn techniques for emerging as strong leaders, so I’ll share some of the information here in this column.

Try a combination of things to get people energized. Often once people do engage, they find themselves enjoying it!

When feedback is done well, it can be the greatest gift you give to someone.

It is overly optimistic to think people will simply change if they don’t see and understand the hurtful nature of what they are doing.

When I run sessions on dealing with difficult people one of the things I consistently point out is the gift that difficult people give us: they are known and their behavior is repeatable and can be anticipated.

It’s hard to work daily with and for someone who clearly doesn’t like you or want you to succeed.

Whether the discussion is about training, coaching, or consulting on roles and responsibilities, the topic of behavioral style – that is, sameness and differences – often gets missed.

It’s taboo in many cultures to admit you might want to have a life outside of your work, so a lot of people keep it to themselves because they don’t want to be seen as weak, or uncommitted.

I love questions like this one – the chance to think creatively and brainstorm “what could be” without the stress of having to do something right now. I have some suggestions to start thinking about what you could do when you have more latitude and less financial responsibility.

In many situations, my clients will tell us they hear “crickets” when they ask for feedback. In large forums many people are simply uncomfortable bringing things up.

No coach is going to be able to work well with your team unless you are very clear about expected outcomes. What will success look like in working with the coach?

This week’s column is devoted to brushing up on what you know you need to do well — and making sure you are actually doing it!

I work on facilitation and teambuilding quite a bit with teams of all sizes, so I am always either coming up with my own new ideas for engaging options or scouring the market to learn what others are doing.

The person has to be open to listen, learn and see how their behavior is not serving them and why they need a new approach. They have to want to figure out how to change and they have to be desirous of trying something new.

If you want to get someone’s attention and influence their thinking to gain traction with your idea, you need to get into their shoes enough to present a case they can understand and relate to!

The most important thing when it comes to managing your time, priorities and life is to get your priorities straight in the first place. It can be helpful to think in categories: work, family, spiritual, health, charitable inclinations and so on.

A manager’s role is to build upon their employees’ strengths, help them see how they can improve in areas where they are already strong, and make shifts in areas that aren’t working as well for them.