Beverly Flaxington is a practice management consultant. She answers questions from advisors facing human resource issues. To submit yours, email us here.
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Dear Bev,
I read your response last week from the person whose firm has two fighting leaders. It seemed you were saying when people can’t communicate well, just move away from them so as not to get caught in their difficulty. This seems counter to what you often write about which is ways to build communication with people you don’t really get along with at work or otherwise. Did I misread something in your answer?
Paul T.
Dear Paul,
Thank you for reminding me of the difficulty of communicating all aspects of an issue in writing. This is why communication is so complicated – there are so many facets and considerations. I appreciate your note, so let me take this column to communicate more fully and address a number of issues relating to communication. Here are ten important take-aways:
- When working on communication, work on your own skills – not those of others. One of the problems in the scenario with last week’s writer was that he/she was observing the interactions of others (and those people were senior). When we try and intervene in the communication difficulty of others by playing mediator or translator, it almost never works. Tip #1: Stay in your own yard when it comes to communication.
- Remember that everyone has their own personal style when it comes to communicating. If I am a quiet person by nature, I might view the talkative, chatty colleague as overbearing or too full of themselves. We project onto others how we are, or what we would mean in that scenario. Tip #2: Know thyself!
- Communication is made up of a number of things. Tone, pace of speech and action, words we use, body language, style of writing etc. We focus mostly on the words, or what we want to get across, and not enough on the other elements. Think about the person who tends to write short emails – no punctuation, no “hi” or “bye” language. If you are also a direct person, you might like this. If you are a friendly, interactive type you wonder why that person is so angry all the time. Who’s right? Depends on the eyes of the receiver. Tip #3: Filters come between our ability to understand others.
- Recognize that we are not taught good communication skills at most learning stops along our life. We are born with a mouth and two ears so it’s assumed we know what to do with them! Few of us ever get a formal chance to learn about how to communicate with a multitude of people. Add in the fact that we rarely learn how to manage our own emotions. Tip #4: Great communication is not easy and not natural – it takes learning and practice.
- In many cases we don’t set expectations and so communication is a surprise. “Why didn’t you TELL me?” is a common refrain. Many people shy away from sharing what might be perceived as bad news but the news doesn’t go away, it just goes underground. Learning to address things in a calm and objective, timely manner goes a long way to avoiding problems and conflicts. Tip #5: There is almost never too much communication, but often too little.
I could write pages and pages on this topic, and it’s such a critical one in the advisory business. Clear communication is key to client and employee happiness.
Dear Bev,
Would it be better to hold a teambuilding event offsite or can we achieve the same results here in our office?
P.S. We have a large, nice open space for the 43 people who would be involved.
Sean S.
Dear Sean,
This is one of those questions that I am going to assume is some debate raging internally and I am the designated arbitrator for someone to say, “I told you so!” Unfortunately, without a bit more information, I can’t give you a definitive answer.
I’ve seen teambuilding work great when held in the office if rules are applied – no disappearing, no checking phones, no breaks that involve going back to one’s desk, etc. It can be cost-saving, and it can be effective, but it has to be managed well.
That said, there is actual research that shows teambuilding held offsite tends to be more effective. I assume this is because there are no distractions and the team focuses solely on one another.
So, it really depends on your team, what you are trying to accomplish, what parameters you set and how you manage it all. If you can write and give me more specifics, I will be able to opine in a more definitive way!
Beverly Flaxington co-founded The Collaborative, a consulting firm devoted to business building for the financial services industry in 1995. In 2008, she co-founded Advisors Trusted Advisor to offer dedicated practice management resources to advisors, planners and wealth managers. In 2016 her firm relaunched the Advisors Sales Academy. She is currently a Lecturer at Suffolk University teaching undergraduate students Leadership & Social Responsibility. Beverly is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA).
She has spent over 25 years in the investment industry and has been featured in Selling Power Magazine and quoted in hundreds of media outlets, including The Wall Street Journal, MSNBC.com, Investment News and Solutions Magazine for the FPA. She speaks frequently at investment industry conferences and is a speaker for the CFA Institute.
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