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In last week’s column about the Internal Financial System™, I encouraged you to visualize and identify the inner parts of yourself that make up your internal board of directors. The different money scripts, or core beliefs about money, that they bring to the table are behind much of your financial behavior. Some of those behaviors, especially ones you’d like to change, might seem irrational. Yet they make perfect sense once you understand what drives them.
Imagine your boardroom again, and this time focus on the different personalities at the table. (While the examples I use represent some common types, yours will be specific to you.) You may have a cautious saver, who’s always bracing for the worst. Perhaps there is a spender who reminds you that “treating yourself” is important. A skeptic or critic might second-guess or raise an eyebrow at every decision. These voices are not random. Each one stems from your early experiences with money.
Take some time to think back to your childhood. Did your parents argue about finances? Was money tight, spent impulsively, or used as a tool for control? These early experiences shaped your money scripts that drive your decisions, often without you even realizing it.
The first step to understanding and eventually changing your Internal Financial System is curiosity. Let’s say you’ve always told yourself, “I’m just bad with money.” Instead of treating that money script as gospel, ask where it came from. Did someone say it to you? Was it based on one mistake that stuck? Once you understand the origin of a belief, it becomes easier to see it for what it really is—a story, not an unchangeable truth.
It’s helpful to explore these beliefs by writing them down. Don’t overanalyze—just jot down whatever comes to mind, like “Money is the root of all evil” or “I have to work harder to deserve more.” Then, take a step back and ask yourself, “What is the positive intention behind this belief?” “Is it helping me today? Is it even true?” For instance, if you feel guilty about earning more money, could you reframe that script into something like, “Money is a tool that can create positive change”?
Once you start identifying your money scripts, you’ll notice patterns in your behavior. Do you avoid saving because it feels like it won’t make a difference? Do you overspend as a way to feel worthy or validated? These behaviors are not quirks. They are not failures. They do not mean you are broken or wrong. They are driven by protective inner parts whose money scripts formed with the positive intention of protecting your system from disruption and emotional stress.
It’s best to start small and unpack one belief at a time. You may find it helpful to work with a financial coach or therapist. Remember, your aim is not to get rid of or silence your parts but to listen with curiosity and compassion so you can help them let go of outdated money scripts.
This process will not necessarily be easy or comfortable. Yet making the effort to understand your Internal Financial System can reward you with increased financial clarity, balance, and peace of mind.
Rick Kahler, MS, CFP®, CFT-I™, CeFT®, CCIM, is the founder of Kahler Financial Group, a Rapid City, SD-based fee-only Registered Investment Advisor.
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Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
