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When I give a webinar or a talk, I always begin with these caveats:
- My task is to introduce the audience to the research underlying The Solin Process℠. I tell them that, if they find the research compelling, they could adopt some or all of it. I encourage them to try it out in a social context before implementing it when trying to convert a prospect into a client.
- I’m not trying to persuade anyone to implement The Solin Process℠.
- If other training systems are working, you should continue to use them.
While I believe I’m communicating clearly, some in the audience will provide feedback that they vigorously disagree with my approach. They don’t quarrel with my research or have any of their own.
When I reflected on why I get that reaction, it helped me understand why some advisors won’t achieve the success they deserve.
It’s easier for introverts
There are many successful extroverts who are financial advisors. However, most of the highest achieving ones I know are introverts.
The Solin Process℠ requires a dedicated focus on the other person. I have several mantras I use to get this point across:
When you’re talking, you’re losing.
Instead of being the most interesting person in the room, try being the most interested.
Use these phrases: Tell me more about that. I’m curious about ...
Putting your agenda aside and asking thoughtful questions is easier for introverts.
It’s in your DNA
According to Linda Blair, a clinical psychologist, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert is in your DNA. It can’t be changed.
Most people have traits that place them somewhere along the continuum of the introvert/extrovert scale.
What defines where you fit between the extremes is the amount of “arousal chemicals” you have, which determine how you react to outside stimuli. Introverts have an abundance of these chemicals and are easily stimulated by noise, crowds and deadlines.
Extroverts have much less arousal chemicals. They seek stimulation from group settings and find interactions with others a source of comfort – especially when they are the center of attention. According to Dr. Marti Olsen Laney, the author of The Introvert Advantage, the more extroverts talk and socialize, the happier they are because doing so releases an arousal chemical, dopamine, into their brains, giving them a positive feeling.
These are not subjective observations. The brains of introverts and extroverts have been shown to be different. The brains of introverts are more sensitive to dopamine. There’s even evidence that external information is processed differently in the brains of introverts and extroverts. Finally, there’s evidence that introverts have “larger, thicker gray matter in their prefrontal cortex – the area of the brain associated with abstract thought and decision making.”
Better listeners
These differences, according to some studies, cause introverts to take longer to process information than extroverts. Introverts require more time to think before responding.
Therefore, introverts tend to be better listeners. According to Beth Buelow, the author of The Introvert Entrepreneur: Amplify Your Strengths and Create Success on Your Own Terms, “[W]e only speak when we have something to say, so there is a higher chance that we will have an impact with our words.”
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Because extroverts process information more quickly, they may be more inclined to interrupt and engage actively in the conversation.
It’s not surprising that introverts find implementing The Solin Process℠ much easier and more intuitive than extroverts.
Practical implications
If you’re an extrovert, you can overcome your natural inclinations by recognizing the problem. The chemicals in your brain are pulling you in the direction of talking and dominating the conversation. You can overcome this tendency by disciplining yourself to talk less, listen more and focus on eliciting information rather than conveying it.
Doing so will help you achieve the success you deserve.
Dan trains executives and employees in the lessons based on the research on his latest book, Ask: How to Relate to Anyone. His online course, Ask: Increase Your Sales. Deepen Your Relationships, is currently available.
Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
