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Those of us in the coaching business may be doing some harm, notwithstanding our good intentions.
Here’s why.
Our advice can erode your confidence
As a group, you are highly intelligent and very sophisticated. Yet, much of the advice bandied about makes it appear that you are the one who needs guidance in your lives.
I’m guilty. I write about how you can be happier; how you can have more fulfilling relationships; and how to conduct yourself at meetings with prospects and clients. I’ve told you how to dress, including the importance of your shoes and accessories. I’ve given guidance on how to make a positive first impression, what your gestures convey and why conveying information is more critical than conveying it.
Others in the coaching business have discussed your role as a “life coach,” whether you should e-mail or call your clients, how to fire clients...and the list goes on.
I fear the cumulative impact of all this advice is to convey that, without us, you’re somehow lost and incapable of conducting yourself in a competent, professional way.
I’m also concerned the tsunami of advice flooding your inbox is eroding your self-confidence. Much of what we are saying is common sense. Without us, I’m sure you would come up with it on your own, learning from whatever mistakes you’ve made.
Evidence-free advice
During a recent coaching session, an advisor asked me for my views on a subject I hadn’t researched. I started to respond with an opinion, and then caught myself. I told her I didn’t think my opinion was worth listening to because it wasn’t based on sound data. She seemed surprised.
Some coaching advice fits into the category of self-help. Unfortunately, even though self-help is a burgeoning industry, much of the advice given by self-help gurus is worthless.
Steven Novella, an academic clinical neurologist at the Yale University School of Medicine, observed that, “the big sellers in the self-help industry seem to be completely disconnected” from published evidence. According to Dr. Novella, “What they are selling are made-up easy answers, personality, and gimmicks.”
You should hold us to a higher standard, much the same way you insist on peer-reviewed data in formulating your investment philosophy.
When I hear coaches dispensing advice, especially about life coaching issues, or providing information that should be coming from a qualified professional (like a licensed psychologist or other therapist), I harken back to my legal days when we often used the term ipse dixit.
If a lawyer made an assertion in a legal brief that was unaccompanied by a citation to legal precedent, we would relegate that statement to ipse dixit, meaning it was simply an unproven assertion, that should be given no weight by the court.
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If you are the recipient of advice from a coach telling you how to conduct yourself in different situations, it’s either ipse dixit or based on solid research. If it’s the latter, the coach should be willing to share those studies with you.
Don’t blindly accept coaching advice from me or anyone else. Make us justify our recommendations.
Otherwise, we may be doing you more harm than good.
Dan trains employees in The Solin Process℠. He makes this guarantee: If his training doesn’t result in an immediate, transformational change in your personal and business relationships, and an increase in your conversion rate, his services are free.
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Advisor Perspectives welcomes guest contributions. The views presented here do not necessarily represent those of Advisor Perspectives.
